Understanding Limiting Beliefs

Mindfulness

A couple weeks ago my mom and I were in the car on our way down to Miami for an appointment. Driving to Miami from where we live tends to be a hassle, there’s the additional snowbird traffic added on to the regular highway madness, so generally speaking, it’s a harried experience.

As we were in the car together (I was driving), I could sense a lack of ease within my mom, I noticed her checking her phone, checking the maps, concerning herself with our ETA, and I knew she was anxious about time. The truth was, at least in this instance, we had plenty of time. We had more than enough time! We were so right on time, that I couldn’t understand her preoccupation with checking her phone and feeling anxious.

That’s when I realized that time, and her relationship with it, has always been her Achilles heel. My mom does not like to be late, in fact, she’s always insanely early to avoid being late.

I asked her in that moment, “What do you think the limiting belief within you is, that makes you feel like you never have enough time, or that something bad will happen to you if you’re not on time?” She looked at me earnestly, and told me that she had never thought about her relationship with time, in that way, and I could see that this was an “ah ha” moment for her. She said, “Wow, Michelle, I want to get to the cause of this, because it makes no logical sense, we’re not in a hurry, and there is no place I would rather be than in a car with you enjoying each other in conversation.”

I could see my question had opened up a brand new awareness giving her an instantaneous desire to get to the root of why time could be such a stressor, literally robbing her of joy. Days later, she thanked me, because having this deeper understanding of the beliefs that we hold that limit us from feeling free, at ease, and at peace with ourselves and with what is, is truly a life altering understanding.

Now, I say all this because it made me stop and think about what my limiting beliefs are, and how we all carry around these untruths that hold us back, keep us stuck, and make us feel like we aren’t enough in this very moment. I realized that one of my core limiting beliefs is that, I can’t fully “have it all” in every aspect of my life. Meaning, if one area of my life is going well, another area will naturally have to suffer.

This has caused me to feel fearful of “good things” thinking that probably some “bad things” will follow suit. Recognizing this within me, allows me to create a new story. Yes, life is unpredictable and not always easy, but I am worthy of having a solid foundation in every aspect of my life that I choose to create for myself.

I believe the more knowledge we have about ourselves, our minds, and the way we perceive the world, the more power we have over everything in our lives.

Limiting beliefs tend to be deeply rooted theories that we believe to be true, that in reality, are untrue. I have held many limiting beliefs about my own worthiness and my ability to be successful, and it’s been a lifetime practice of undoing what is so deeply within.

My process of uncovering what lies beneath the surface is to begin to notice the every day experiences that trigger you, or make you feel anxious, or take away your confidence and inner peace. Take pause in these moments, notice where your mind goes when these instances arise, and then take an inventory of your thoughts.

Ask yourself if these thoughts you are thinking are helpful, kind, productive and truthful, or if they are simply the opposite. Sit with the feelings that arise and notice if there is a long-held belief that is triggering the thoughts and your response to the situation.

Once you can connect the limiting belief to the actual life circumstance, you will begin to feel more powerful when similar circumstances arise, you can start to choose how you react, which begins to change the thinking process around the stories you have been telling yourself for years. By changing your reaction you are breaking the cycle of feeling at the mercy of the happenings in the external world.

Changing your thinking brings you power, and it is the fastest way to change your life. I believe that training our very malleable mind is one of the greatest practices of self-care and mental health that we can embark on, so sit in quiet with yourself and become the boss of your life to live the joyful life you deeply desire.

xo,

Michelle

p.s.–If you feel safe too, and want some PMPL online support, share what limiting belief you wish to gently release. We’ll be here to cheer you on and wish you well. 🙂

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