Living a positive life feels nice. You can do everything “right” and feel great, but in reality we are still going to come across people that push our buttons. Dealing with people who rub me the wrong way has been one of my biggest assignments in life thus far. Whether it’s a friendship gone south or a random stranger on the Internet, it takes a lot of inner work to deal with people who just rub you the wrong way. Fortunately, there are tools we can use to work through these feelings. Remember, we have a choice in how we act to situations and people, so keep that in mind to stay in your power (and to stay sane)!
- Drop the judgment. As you may remember, I have been working on being judgment free, which has come in handy whenever I come across someone who is really getting under my skin. Like in any other situation with judgment, I notice when I’m judging the person, release that feeling, forgive myself, and choose again.
- Don’t write a story. You know when someone cuts you in line at the grocery store, and you get so angry and in your mind you think, “What an insensitive jerk that person is.” You are writing a story about what kind of person could be so selfish, when in reality we have no idea what’s going on in someone else’s life at any given moment. Don’t write someone else’s story when they make you angry. Stay present, breathe, repeat a mantra or affirmation, and move forward.
- Recognize that the other person is you. This is such a big one! Often times the really annoying things we see in other people are reflections of our own shadows. There have been so many times when I have been beyond irritated with someone, only to go within and realize that the particular person was mirriong something in me. If someone is making you majorly crazy, spend some time in reflection and see if you can come up with what that person might be triggering in you.
- Forgive them and forgive yourself. We are all love, right? When someone pushes your buttons and you get feisty with them, it’s ok, but return back to love. Forgiveness is that path back to love. Don’t carry the negative emotions along with you. Say a prayer, take a breath, release the person, release the situation, and move along.
- Look at all people as an assignment. A great lesson that I learned from Gabby Bernstein is, “All encounters are an opportunity to transform fear to love and create a miracle.” What can an interaction or a relationship teach you about being a better person? When you look at life from this standpoint you release the victim mentality and take responsibility for your life and your actions.
- Wish them well from afar. Even when you can’t seem to do any of the above, do your best to wish this pesky person love, because most likely, it’s really all they need. We don’t set out to be annoying, selfish, mean-spirited, narcissistic, inauthentic, or whatever trait that makes you mad, but when we slip into that role, it’s because we’ve veered from love to fear. When you see someone acting in a certain way, send them love, wish them well from afar, and feel the sense of anger in you release immediately.
I hope these tips help you in dealing when any person or situation that riles you up! Do you have your own tips you use to manage people who push your buttons? Let me know in the comments!
Michelle is Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life's Creative Director and resident writer. She has a degree in Journalism from Indiana University and is also a certified holistic health coach through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and registered yoga teacher with trainings with Anuttara Yoga Shala and Strala Yoga. Michelle has a deep desire to help people find happiness in all areas of their lives, and truly believes the Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life movement will bring lasting change to the world. Michelle splits her time between Florida and New York City and loves connecting with people from all over the world. If you'd like to contact her, she can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org