The other day I was driving down A1A, one of my favorites drives in South Florida as it’s right on the ocean, and out of nowhere, I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. Honestly, for no apparent reason. Racking my brain for what could be the cause, I noticed that along my journey, I had been driving behind a Jeep for the past few miles, and my answer became clear to me.
You see, for most of my growing up life, I wanted a Jeep. As a kid, I dreamed of turning 16, getting my license, and saving up my money to make my dream car, a reality. When the internet became a thing, I would go on the Jeep website and test out all the different colors and options, so I knew exactly what car I would want, and its price, when the time came.
When I turned 16, and got my license, I didn’t get a Jeep. In fact, I didn’t even go to a Jeep dealership to test drive one. I ended up finding another car, one that was completely opposite of the Jeep that I had been coveting for so long.
In fairness though, I really liked that car too, and I made it mine for the next seven years. When the time came to get a new car, I thought to myself, “this will be the time I get the real car that I want.” It was time for the Jeep, but I never went to the dealership, for some reason. I discovered another SUV, similar in nature to the Jeep, and bought the new car, still leaving that inner soul desire unchecked.
I think the wave of sadness that came over me in that moment on that particular day, almost 20 years later, is that I never allowed myself the opportunity to really try to make that deep desire a reality. I allowed myself to dream, but I didn’t allow myself to act on it. And so, that dream had no place to go, but to hover in my subconscious for all these years.
Now I know that in the grand scheme of things, not getting a car really is no big deal, but it got me thinking about all the other little (and big) life desires that I let go by the wayside. What was it within me that held me back from going for what I really wanted? Why did I choose in opposition of my desires? How many hidden desires are still lingering within me to this day?
I wonder what would be different or what would happen if I allowed myself to act on these desires rather than just dream about them. I wonder how could I feel inside, if I choose to honor my desires rather than just see them as a dreamy possibility?
The truth about our desires is that they are unique to who we are, they give us insight into our life’s path, and they provide a sense of clarity. When we don’t honor the desires that burn brightly inside of ourselves, we start closing ourselves off from that inner knowing of what we want, and the belief that we are worthy of these deep desires.
Long ago I had a life coach tell me that life’s desires are like little bread crumbs, guiding us along our path in life. You see something, you feel a pull towards it, and you go. You feel connected to something, and you incorporate it into your life. All these little desires add up to a rich and meaningful life.
But we have to listen. And then act.
When we feel that deep calling within to go somewhere, or to experience something, or to talk to a person, or to buy that thing, listen to see where the yearning inside yourself is coming from. Then ask yourself, “How can I honor it?”
Take the action with excitement, but no expectations, knowing that whether or not you actually get the thing, achieve, or cultivate that desire is truly irrelevant, because you’ve actually moved in the direction of your soul’s calling.
The moral of this story is that it’s not about getting what you want. It’s the bravery, the courage, and the way you honor yourself while you explore the things you desire. I’m excited to start living life from this way, and seeing where I end up. Maybe I’ll finally go take that Jeep for a test drive!
I’d love to hear if you feel the same way too, and how you’ll start to honor your desires.