My dear friends,
I’m still in my new year mode, and was thinking more about what I’d like to cultivate and what I’d like to release in 2022. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you might remember that I consider myself to be a recovering people pleaser and extremely empathic. I often find myself bending boundaries to please others, and apologizing for things that don’t necessarily require one. Living this way can feel exhausting and even demoralizing at times.
One thing I am definitely working on in 2022 is to live my life confidently and authentically from the inside out, without apology. Which means, saying no without making excuses, setting boundaries when called for, and releasing the need to apologize in situations, just for the sake of keeping the peace.
This all goes without saying, but of course, I wholeheartedly believe in the power of apology and taking responsibility, when required. I’ve learned lately, though, that saying sorry in times when it is not needed, tends to dilute the power of an apology in times required. So my friends, below are six things that I am not apologizing for in 2022. I offer this to you with the hope that it helps you to recognize that you can life your life freely, boldly, and confidently; without apology.
- Not living up to other people’s expectations of me. I used to strive really hard to make everyone around me happy, and to be the person everyone else wanted me to be. It’s exhausting and confusing. In 2022, I set the intention to be myself, fully and unapologetically.
- Changing my mind or forming a new opinion when given new information. Life is fluid and constantly changing. We cannot expect ourselves to stay the same as the world around us changes. You’re allowed to change your mind when presented with new information.
- Being passionate about the things that matter to me. I used to feel sheepish about being passionate about causes I care about. We live in incredibly polarizing times and sometimes it even felt like a burden to care so much about so many things. Now, I fully embrace what matters to me, knowing that the things that I care about are part of me and my path for a reason.
- Setting healthy boundaries as a form of self-care. Like I said above, I consider myself to be a recovering people pleaser, which means that setting boundaries or even saying no to people has always been extremely challenging. I know, from experience, that I cannot say yes to everyone, and more importantly, I cannot say no to people and feel “guilty” about it. Instead, I choose to honor myself, my time, and my needs, and trust that the right people will always understand, and show me grace when needed.
- Speaking up for myself and my needs, even if it’s uncomfortable or an inconvenience to others. We all are living incredibly unique lives with unique paths. What works for me might not work for you, and that’s okay. In the past I would apologize or bend my standards to make something okay or more convenient for them. Sometimes you have to be the villain in someone else’s story to be the hero of your own.
- Living life on my own timeline. I often feel pressure to live up to the timeline that society places upon us. It’s so easy to fall into the expectations that life has for us, without even tapping into our own personal wants, desires, and goals. This year, I really wish to own my life and my timeline, unapologetically, even if it doesn’t make sense to others.
What are some things you’re not apologizing for in 2022? I’d love to hear in the comments!