Recently I had a conversation with a close friend about achieving my biggest hopes and dreams. I was actually pretty frustrated in our talk because I felt like I had been doing all the “right things” to manifest my desires into reality, yet I was continually coming up short.
After my friend masterfully questioned me on my thoughts and deep, deep beliefs as to what was blocking me from bringing the things I want into form, I uncovered that I have some strong, unwavering feelings of unworthiness.
This discovery hit me like a ton of bricks! I honestly never really resonated with the “I am not worthy” story that many of us play out. But yes, it has been unbeknownst to me, living there deep inside my psyche blocking me from everything I desire. As much as it saddened me that I had these deep-seated thoughts about myself, there was also an instant sense of relief.
Wow, this is it, this is the crazy, underlying (untrue) belief that I need to work out, so that I can really create my best life.
I then started to think about how much I see the sense of “unworthiness” play into so many people’s lives. We are taught to believe that we have to earn everything, and if we don’t get what we are truly after, it’s because we aren’t “enough.” Can any of you relate? This is an insane, vicious cycle that ultimately leads us to self-loathing, depression, anxiety, perfectionism, apathy, and sadness.
The truth about unworthiness is that it simply isn’t real. There are no qualities or characteristics about you that exclude you from any said things that you desire in life. It’s simply a limited way of thinking, which excuses you from really stepping both feet and going for what you want in life.
I believe we tend to fall into unworthiness as a way to bypass some of the major feelings that we have about ourselves, mostly our inability to really love ourselves. Think about it, if we loved ourselves in a full and complete way, we would always think that we could live the life and have the things that we deeply want, right?
Your ability to achieve your desires has nothing to do with your worthiness and everything to do with your thoughts, actions, and beliefs.
This week, I encourage you all to start the journey of banishing any unworthy sentiments you have about yourself. You were given this exact life for a reason, and every aspect of it has been placed into your presence on purpose. None of it has anything to do with whether you were worthy of it or not. We all have the capability to do the things we want to do, to be the people we want to be, and to create the lives we wish to live. However, it starts with us, and cleaning up the way we that think about ourselves.
If you are ready to start releasing unworthiness, I have below some simple practices to get you on your way.
1. Notice that you actually feel this way. Like I said, it was a huge “aha” moment for me and a great starting off point to really get to work.
2. Try to pinpoint moments in your past that might have created these beliefs for you. For example, an ex-boyfriend of mine constantly told me that I didn’t deserve to have nice things. I took this in and made it true, which as we know, it is not.
3. Reframe your stories of the past. You can do this by recognizing that whatever happened in the past never had anything to do with your worthiness.
4. Start to journal about the feelings that come up for you in this worthiness work. You could ask yourself, “What is causing me to feel unworthy?” “What are the feelings of self doubt that I have?” “Am I willing to let these unworthy feelings block me from my best life?” Notice your answers and the patterns that arise.
5. Be mindful of your thoughts. Try to catch yourself when a semblance of any unworthiness comes into your mind.
6. Adopt an “I am worthy” affirmation. Write it on your mirror. Put it in your phone. Post it up on your wall. Have reminders wherever you can place them.
7. Forgive yourself for harboring these feelings. Be gentle with yourself when releasing them. By saying good-bye to your feelings of unworthiness, you are opening yourself up to brand new possibilities in life. Isn’t that exciting?
I hope these practices help you release any of the feelings that might be holding you back from the things you truly desire in life. I want you all to know that you are worthy of your authentic dreams, desires and goals, and that it is possible for all of you. Please remember this, always.
If you feel called, let me know in the comments your experiences with unworthiness, and how you plan to release these feelings from your life.
Michelle is Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life's Creative Director and resident writer. She has a degree in Journalism from Indiana University and is also a certified holistic health coach through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and registered yoga teacher with trainings with Anuttara Yoga Shala and Strala Yoga. Michelle has a deep desire to help people find happiness in all areas of their lives, and truly believes the Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life movement will bring lasting change to the world. Michelle splits her time between Florida and New York City and loves connecting with people from all over the world. If you'd like to contact her, she can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org